Trying

Hey there.

It’s been a long time since the last time i wrote my post here. But I’m kinda busy with what I’m doing now. But, since this one is the special request, I’m gonna do some writing definitely. Aah I hope I don’t lose my writing skills :D.

Now, I will tell you a story. And this part of my life is called, Trying.

My last writing was about Loving. Actually, it was told you about how I was trying to let go of someone. Well then, I get to admit that, I can’t. Not in a million time. Beside, that’s a harsh way to treat your loved one.

I was decided to get along with tubby again, but a little bit a different approach. At first, I was trying to forget her little by little. Tried just to be her friend, and just friend. And once again, I have to admit that..I can’t.

That feeling is just something that I can’t eliminate.

Then I gone for another try..another attempt to get her. Maybe, I’m a stubborn man, but I rather called it, persistence B-). Well you never know until you try right?

It was not something really special actually. I’m not Bruno Mars who write a love song, or even romeo who died for his loved one. Not that romantic. It’s just consistently gave some cares, jokes, maintaining communication between us, and the like. Aah thanks for blackberry to make it happen anyway..hahaa.

Hang out, spending time together, was, of course, some part of it. We’d really love to go to sushi restaurant. Gone to one another, looking for the best sushi taste around. Well, though sushi is our favorite, but we actually try a lot of food. No wonder both of us got a big body..hahaha.

The most fenomenal moment was when we eat 6 portion of sushi plate, consist of 8 pieces sushi each. I still remember how tubby was puke because she was eat 30 pieces little light sushi in an eating competition, and now we have to eat at least 24 big heavy sushi each. My God, I was just hoping I didn’t threw up there. Believe me, never do this at home. There was no delicacies of sushi left there. It’s all plain. And that wasn’t the end. We still have a dessert..A 16 oz ice cream. When it comes to the last spoon..it became sour. Hueeekkk

I know, maybe that was something fun, and it seemed everything goes well at that time. But it’s not definitely true. I still confuse with this kinda relationship. It’s like living in uncertainty. You might find me happy outside, but there was still something missing inside. I have to get it right.

February 5th..ok this is the time. It’s another try..the 3rd attempt to express my feeling. The previous two was rejected..but thanks for my stubborn head for keeping me going :)). Like usual, I always tried to find excuse to meet tubby. And my excuse for that time was..movie and android. What in the world was that? -____-“.  I’m sorry tubby..but that idea was all I got :D. After a little chit chat till late..right before I went home..I did it. I told her my feeling..something that she definitely knew..but still have to be spoken.

You will never imagined how was my feeling at that time. My heart beat was increasing to its maximum rate. Feels like I did treadmill for an hour.

And my greatest thank to Allah God Almighty..she accept me. Yeeeaayy..two years of trying is worth it. I’m in seventh heaven..horraaayy. No more Adele’s Chasing Pavement or Kahitna’s Hampir Jadi..hahahaa

Well then..I have to conclude it. After a silly writing style..which is I never did before..thank you very much for accepting me tubby. I do my best to keep it long last for us.

If you asked me..why did I never get bored..I don’t know

If you asked me..why did I this stubborn..I don’t know

If you asked me..why did I did all these things..I said..because I love you

 

And this is a part of my life…

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Loving

Please be prepare..It is gonna be a hell long story

It’s all started on 24th April 2010. It was a cloudy Saturday afternoon, when I met her after our last meet 2 years before. This girl, was my high school friend, girl in veil, smart, beautiful, religious, creative, aah too many words to express how does she is, too perfect. At that time, she looked really beautiful, and when I had a conversation with her, it was impress me. She had a brain, yes of course, but this one is a smart one. The way she talk, how she interact, made a really good impression to me. Wow girl, you stunned me. Well, she is my rival when we were on high  school, rival in English subject score. She got a magnificent score for English, she’s the only one who can beat my score.

It was continued 2 months after that. After I had a test, I was called by my friend to came to a mall in Depok joined karaoke, and guess what, she’s there too. Ooh my, how can I refuse it? Of course I will come. That was fun, we sang many songs, until she decided to sang seriously, and once again she stunned me. Her voice, damn good. I can’t stand not to sing with her. I chose Peabo Brison and Regina Belle single, A Whole New World, and that was fantastic. That’s gonna be a song that will always have a great memories for me. Even when I write this post, this song accompany me all way long.

After that, everything seems working very well. I still remember every single thing that we had gone through together. These are some of them.

I was gone to a cafe before. A same cafe when we were met before, but now with let say a more intimate feeling..hehe..for me at least. When we were going home, that was the first time I got inside her house, a house that these 9 months I really often visits. Oh my, I really miss that house. A house that gives me, again, a whole new world. I’ve never seen such family. I love to see them interact each other. There are lots of love to share between them everyday, in everything they do, everything they say. A little happy family, a family that if I may say, I assume it my new family. I love them all.

It was Wednesday, and that was my holiday time. A few days before, I was confused about what I will gonna do to make a surprise for her. Suddenly, came an idea that said, let’s go to her campus, but remain silence, do not tell her. Yup, I gone to her campus that day. For your info, that was the first time I gone there by myself, the first time I took city train as my transportation choice, a whole new thing..haha. It wasn’t easy. Because I have no idea where should I go. My only guide was my memories about what she had talked to me before, some photo of her campus, and asking many people how can i got there. And Alhamdulillah, I found her on her lab, working for her thesis. I was afraid to get caught by her, so I sneaking when I was in front of her lab, walking faster, a little bended. After a while, I called her, be mysterious. I told her what she was wearing at that time and she realized I was there..hahaha. I bought her a flower, something that she said never been given by anyone before. Wow, that was an honor for me.

After that moment, I often gone to her campus just to met her. Helped some lab things, like washing the lab’s tube since that the only thing I could did there..haha. Seeing how she struggle for her thesis makes me fire up for my study, she inspires me a lot.

Skype is something. There was a few night that me and her had Skype-ing. Started at 8 pm, and it will be over on 2 or 3 am..haha. A hell crazy thing. What I always did was playing guitar, sang a song for her, with my limited guitar skill. We laughing all night long. I often seduced her, made her face blushing, took a picture of her, and of course saw her face all night long.

We had some nick. We called each other Tubby. It was started when we were on skype, talking about our favorite cartoon character. She really likes Doraemon, and I like Patrick Star. Then we gone googling about Patrick and found a word “tubby”. Tubby means short and fat, and that’s really me. Then we started to called each other Tubby.

On the fasting month, we often break our fast together. There was a time when I invited her to my house for break fasting with some of our friends. It was Saturday. That was the first time, and only, she gone to my house. Again, that’s an honor for me to accept her to my house. It was only a small occasion, but means a lot for me.

One thing that I always ask her to do is had a jogging together on Sunday morning. For a few first week, it was working, but after that she got lazy and you know what happen, she’s getting bigger..haha. But that’s ok, I just loved her the way she is. Like I said to her, it’s not about her body shape, my only concern is her health of being fat.

She gave me a book on my birthday. A book that I really wanted, Mein Kampf, written by Adolf Hitler. Huaaa, many thanks to her, you made my dream come true.

Tebet could be our favorite spot. Sushi Ya, Seven Eleven, trying to be “gaul”, despite of our age that not fit anymore..haha. Ooh ya, Bakmi Toko Tiga, where she introduced me to Korean ice cream. We gone to many eating place. We love to do that, and we were getting bigger every time..haha. Her favorite is sushi, and lately she were craved for sweets.

We really like to share about food. The nutrition, but most common is the tasty food. In our dictionary, there are only two words, delicious or very delicious. When it gets night, food or “feces” always be our main topic..haha. Nasty but fun.

Oh my..oh my..I almost forget about kitties. That was a Sunday afternoon, like usual I gone to her house just to see her actually..hehe. Suddenly, there was a kitten came to her house. She loves cat so much, and that was a very cute kitten. We can’t stand not to holding him. Thought it was only one, but suddenly the mother of the cat brought the other one. Yeeayy, two kitties. We started to look after their name, and found the first kitten would be named Kitty, and the second Perry. We took their photos, many times, hundreds maybe. We were happy at that time. But it’s not over yet. Came the third. Whoaaa..this one is the cutest. And at that night came fourth, so we had to thought another name. We got it, the third is Mary, the fourth is Cat. Too bad, now, Kitty has passed away. He was hit by a motor cycle. It’s a big loss for us. Bye Kitty..you’re always in my heart.

There was a shocking moment on December. All this time what she always told me that she always got delayed bye her lecturer for get the final thesis test, but finally I got a news that she made it. The test will be held on Monday. I got excited that day, finally she made it. I re-schedule all my activities and planned to came to her big day. But suddenly, on Saturday night, she sent me a message. She said,”Byy, won’t you congratulate me?”. I said,”of course, congratulation for your final test. Good luck for monday Tubby”. She replied,”But by, I already SP today”. That day, I was shocked. Obviously, the final test was held on Saturday, but she didn’t want me to know that, she wanted to made a surprise, and she did it. Congratulation Tubby 😉

But these things has to be ended now. This week, maybe, the last week I spent with her.

It started on Monday, when she had a psycho test for her job apply. Usually, she always told me the story of what she had through that day. But not that day. She didn’t tell any story, even there was no long chat between us like usual. It was the weirdest time. What it is all about? Thought that she might be had the PMS, but still something wrong.

And the same thing happened the next day. Still no word from her. Did I do something wrong or what? The answer came at the night when I saw her tumblr and there is a posting titled “I’m Not Changed”. There, all the question answered. Now I know what is actually her heart feels.

The next day, she apologized for what she had did to me. I understand. I don’t get mad or something. It’s all her right to treat me in every way she want, as long as she happy with that. But that night, I made up my mind. Something about what will happen the next day, and the days after that. And maybe, that’s the last day I can sleep well, because up until now, there is no such a deep sleep for me.

The next day, it was Thursday, was the day I ended it. I came to her house at 12pm. Actually, I want to straightly talk about this thing, but I can’t. You know what, she asked me to join her making a pancake. She looked very happy at that time. I can’t break it, not in a million chances. So I made the pancake, I documented all the steps of making a pancake, I eat the pancake, and that was a delicious pancake. It didn’t stop there. After making a pancake, we were fixing her guitar, change all the strings, and I taught her how to play guitar. Then, we gone to a restaurant that served duck near her house. I wasn’t talk too much at that time because I know this time, maybe, will be the last. We were going home, I play some songs with guitar which was all for her, whether she realized or not. About 6.45 pm, I talked seriously of what actually happened, and I took a very hard decision, let go of her.

And now here I am, writing this story. A story about a boy that trying to get a girl, but let’s say, fail. A boy that loves a girl sincerely, but now has to be sit in silence. The only thing he can do is just checking the girl’s blog, twitter, tumblr, facebook, just to know how is she now. Wishing that he could turn back the time and stop it, so there is no goodbye word.

I know I already said that word, but strangely, i wish secretly, it would fall down when I asleep. Now I miss you so much. I really regret it, regret that I can’t be the one who make you happy, but make you sad. I really sorry that, I apologize for that. Deep in my heart, I really wish that we can redo everything that we’ve been through.

Tubby, many thanks for giving me this whole new world. It’s an honor for me to shared it with you. Something that I will never forget. Never. Always wishing you a good luck for your life.

Always started it with Bismillah, do your best, saying Alhamdulillah for everything the result is. Take care, be good.

 

My name is Tito Aribowo, and this is a part of my life

Why This Part of My life??

Howdy guys,

My name is Tito and this is my newest blog. Actually I already have a blog before, http://www.kolaminspirasi.blogspot.com, but it has different theme of writing so I decide to make another one. Please be kindly visit my other blog.

Well, as it writes on the title, why this part of my life? It starts a night before, i was watched a movie, starred Will Smith, and it’s called The Pursuit of Happiness.

 

This film tells a story about some part of Chris Gardner’s (Will Smith) life. He has a poor family, he’s struggling for their life, be a salesman of the X-Ray scanner, his wife left him because of the poorness, live with his son, and just trying to made him happy all the time.

This one is inspiring me. When I always give up on everything, this man never give up on every single thing in his life. That’s how we should run this life.

In this movie, there are always narrations that says “This part of my life is…”. Ya, this is my blog title inspiration. I think it is so interesting to share some part of my life just like Chris Gardner did. I know, it will not be that inspiring, but maybe you can take some lesson from it. Whether it’s good, bad, fool, ridiculous, or even crazy. Because there’s no perfection in this life, but we can always get closer to it by learning from imperfection.

Hope you all enjoy my blog. Please help me to improve my writing by share your thought.

Thank you

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